FF7 Episode -1
by Apple Of Enlightenment
Summary: Final Fantasy 7 parody of Star Wars


FF7  
Episode -1  
  
A long long time ago, in a weird world of Squaresoft far away.....  
  
  
Doo Do Doo Dooooo dOOOOOO da da da dooo da, da da da dooo da dum de te dum  
  
The world was under attack by this huge meteor thingie,  
  
Yet there was one hope for the world  
  
Luke (err.. i mean The Rebellion)  
  
Unfortunately, they died from the meteor which bounced back to mars, blew it up,  
  
And now it is heading to this weird world of Squaresofty goodness (no offense)  
  
So now there is the group AVALANCHE  
  
Unfortunately it is consisted of guys with gun-arms, spiky-headed-jerks,   
  
And a lot of other people that join as they progress  
  
That wear funky-pants and do a funky dance  
  
Whenever they win  
  
Wait..  
  
No thats the Pokemon fanfic  
  
Anyway.....  
  
  
A ship enters a dark bigger ship and two figures come out of the smaller ship, onto the platform of the bigger ship  
  
Then the one with the gun-arm says "We are the Champion Fetti, and you are the losers. We request immediate action upon your butt er.. head"  
  
BOOM  
  
Soldiers blew up the small ship, so now the two Champions are screwed  
  
The spiky-headed-one named Cloud says "Master, you jack and dumb @$$.   
  
We were supposed to negotiate peace with the losers, not initiate combat"  
  
Then the gun-armed one named barret says: "Fine... You be the master"  
  
Cloud: Fine.. be a butt young padawan  
  
Barret: "I have a bad feeling about this master"  
  
Cloud: Shut up Shut up Shut up  
  
Barret: Master there coming in full forces  
  
Cloud: Dont worry, there just flying toads  
  
Barret: @#$% they got miniguns  
  
Cloud: Well I got OMNISLASH  
  
AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH  
  
(chop swish slash bang boom ...ow)  
  
Princess Tifa runs out  
  
Tifa: Help Cloud Im being captured by Darth Sephiroth  
  
Barret shoves her out of the way: Not yet @#$$%, one more time you come out here, Ill blow up your water balloons  
  
Princess Tifa (whispers): Thats our secret right.....  
  
Barret: Hell no Tifa's got fake kahunas Tifa's got fake kahunas!  
  
Cloud looks over: Use the force young one.  
  
Barret summons his energy  
  
(Water spilling sound,)  
  
Tifa: Darn you (jumps off into space, followed by an explosion)  
  
Cloud:Darn, there goes my sister  
  
Cloud: Young padawan hurry we must escape throught the ventilation shafts  
  
Barret: What the hell you talkin' about. You go through the shafts, Ill go through the front door.  
  
Cloud: Young padawan, do as i say  
  
Barret: Okay (Thinking...%^@# you cloud)  
  
Cloud and Barret start running to the shafts  
  
Suddenly, Sephiroth Starts running towards them  
  
Sephiroth: I will now let you go, not by the hairs on my chiny chin butt.  
  
Barret: Well then I'll blow and i'll balst and blow your butt in.  
  
Sephiroth: arrghh!!  
  
Sephiroth Jumps in the air  
  
Aries runs in  
  
Aries: Cloud, watch out  
  
Aries runs up to Cloud and Barret, and pushes them in the Shafts  
  
Sephiroth comes down from the sky, killing Aries............................Again  
  
Cloud and Barret escape without a backward glance...  
  
Aeris stands up  
  
Aeris: Sephiroth, excellent acting.   
  
Sephiroth: Just like the '60's  
  
Aeris: Alright were's my money  
  
Sephiroth: Here it is (kills Aeris for real)  
  
Aeris: Crap (falls over dead)  
  
Cloud and Barret run through the shafts but then they pass by a room full of hot babes  
  
Barret goes in  
  
Cloud: Do not be distracted young padawan. Temptations lead to the dark side  
  
Barret: And the bed  
  
Barret starts singing "You and me.. Sponataneous lovin' baby two or three"  
  
Cloud shakes his head...  
  
Cloud: Another one bites the dust  
  
All of a sudden......  
  
OMNISLASH  
  
(Slish swhish Bam Boom)  
  
Cloud: I hate to have to kill me padawans but he was asking for it.  
  
Cloud runs out the shaft, and runs into a dog  
  
Red XIII: Mesa Red XIII, whatsa u name  
  
Cloud: You owe me a life debt  
  
Red XIII: Mesa no think so  
  
Huge fire....Boom  
  
Cloud.....smithereens  
  
Red XIII runs around: All right.....  
  
Darth Sephiroth comes out and says   
  
Red XIII I am your son  
  
Red XIII: WTF?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
BOOM  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sephiroth.... gone  
Planet saved  
Everyone dead  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Except.....  
  
  
  
  
Sephiroth LALALALALALALA you can't catch me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
In heaven:  
GOD looks at Cloud I gotta kill Sephiroth..  
  
Aeris: Let him go Let him goooooo  
  
Barret: no no no no no no no  
  
Cloud: Barret whatcha doin in heaven  
Barret: Crap....  
  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
  
Created by: Apple_Of_Enlightenment  



End file.
